My Saviour

by Jayvee
(Laguna)

I am 23 years old, a Registered Nurse, sister of Jaymelyn, a professional teacher, and daughter of my Tatay Elmer, a tricycle driver, and my Nanay Baby, a caregiver.

For the longest time, I've been living my life like this. I know I'm not a bad person. I know that I have something good in my heart. I am aware of what is good and what is not. I pray all the time. I go to church and attend a mass.

But I tend to keep doing certain things that are not good. I know that I'm just human. I make mistakes. It really bothers me whenever I do those things but I still keep doing them. Suddenly, something happened that really made me realize a lot of things.

My boyfriend (Mark) for 3 years and 7 months broke up with me. We've loved each other so much. We've been through a lot. Like a normal couple, we've had our ups and downs. Every time we would argue, I would always give up and break up with him. I've always been like that for so long, but he never gave up on me, on us. He would do everything just to win me back. He would never think of his pride when it comes to me.

Not until he felt that he's had enough. He decided to end our relationship when he felt so tired. I was really hurt. This was the feeling that I kept on making him feel for so long. For that reason, I didn't get mad at him. There was no reason for me to feel such a thing. From then on, I started to think of everything that I have done wrong, not just to him, but to everyone.

I suddenly realized that it was time for me to correct my life. I don't know why but I felt like God used him as an instrument to help me. I thought of punishing myself but I decided to do the right thing.

I turned to God and decided to leave everything up to Him. I did nothing but to pray and to divert my attention to something good that I can do, like jogging and cooking. With the help of a friend, I started to write down the things that I have to change in me, the things that I have to be thankful for each day, and the things that I claim as if they are really happening.

In that way, I would always remind myself to do the things that would help me become a better person. Now, it's been 2 months and I can say that I'm doing well. Mark and I will talk next week. I'm still hoping for the best because I love him so much. But I know that God has plans for us, and no matter what happens, I know that it will make us happier and stronger.